Coaching
What it is, and how I use it
What coaching is
Coaching, more than counselling, is focused on the client's outer world- their challenges, supports, relationship dynamics and responsibilities, as well as how the client intends to manage them.
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The outer focus has a few implications:
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Objectivity matters more than subjectivity. Like in sports, personal coaching is built on concrete goals (decided by the client). Facts, rather than feelings, determine if a goal is met. Like Yoda said to his apprentice Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi: "Do or do not. There is no 'try.'"
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The direction of the conversation is "sideways," not "down." In coaching, the focus is on the world around the client, the surface and the practical level. Alice has landed in Oz. So what now? Or try this game analogy: you can see the pieces on the board. The question is, are we playing checkers or chess? Also, how do you want to play? Do you like the long, subtle game? The direct, offence-based one? How do your environment and your personality dictate your choices?
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The goal of coaching is to achieve external goals, rather than merely understand one's experience. In my experience, coaching is most effective when a client's emotions are sufficiently clear and at peace with the situation. While we can always pause for counselling, coaching is enhanced when a person's resources are fully available to enact change, rather than wrestling with emotions.
How I use counselling
When strictly coaching, I tend to ask change-focused questions like, “How do you think you should respond to this challenge?” or “What’s the next step in managing the situation?” rather than questions like, “What was that like for you?” or “What did it mean for you when that happened?” which are questions focused on a client’s experience. This approach directs a person’s focus to their outer world.
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Coaching is not “better” than counselling. It is a specific tool ideal for tackling concrete problems and making changes in one’s life. Tackling problems and creating change requires an appreciation for objectivity and the challenges and patterns it reveals. That’s what coaching is for!
Are you ready to move forward with coaching?
Click the "Book Here" button below to schedule a complimentary 20-minute inquiry call, during which we can discuss how this externally focused, practical approach can benefit you on your specific journey.